THE MORON’S ALMANAC © 1999, JustMorons.com
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Almost as reliable as the Farmer’s Almanac®, but without all that crap about farming.
*** Interim Edition ***
*** Sunday, April 4 through Saturday, April 10 ***
There is no Moron’s Almanac this week. Volume 1 ended with last week’s issue, and Volume 2 will begin with next week’s issue. This weeks holidays and birthdays, and a few historical tidbits, are being provided without any moronic intepretation, just to be sure you don’t feel we’re ignoring you. We would never ignore you. You’re our favorite subscriber. (But you already knew that.)
Wednesday’s horoscope and Thursday’s installment of the Asinine Prophecy will appear as usual.
Some subscribers did not receive last week’s email edition of the Almanac due to email traffic problems caused by the Melissa virus, and even more didn’t because of problems caused by its cures. If you send an email to Almanac@JustMorons.com, the Volume 1, Number 12 edition will be sent to you instantaneously by the overeager JustMorons delivery guy.
This Moron,
Proprietor
---THIS WEEK’S VITAL MORONIC INFO---
April 4 is Liberation Day in Hungary (1945)
April 4 is the Treaty Signing Anniversary of NATO (1949)
April 4 is Independence Day in Senegal (1960)
April 5 is Opening Day in the United States (Baseball)
April 5 is Independence Day in Bosnia (1992)
April 6 is Liberation Day in Ethiopia (1941)
April 6 is April Revolution Day in Sudan (1985)
April 6 is Chakri Dynasty Day in Thailand (1782)
April 7 is a Day of National Mourning in Rwanda
April 8 is Not a Significant Holiday
April 9 is Mikael Agricola’s Birthday in Finland (1508)
April 9 is Martyr’s Day in Tunisia
April 9 is Occupation Day in Denmark (1940)
--- THIS WEEK IN HISTORY ---
On April 5, 1951, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were sentenced to death for giving secrets about America’s atomic weapons to the Soviets.
On April 5, 1997, poet Allen Ginsberg died.
On April 6, 1917, the U.S. declared war on Germany and entered World War I.
On April 7, 1891, Phineas T. Barnum died.
On April 7, 1943, LSD was first produced.
On April 7, 1963, the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia was created.
On April 8, 1939, Italian troops overtook the capital of Albania, Tirana, just one day after having invaded.
On April 8, 1996, Yugoslavia and its former republic of Macedonia signed a treaty normaling relations.
April 8 is traditionally celebrated as the birthday of Siddhartha (Buddha).
On April 9, 1970, the Beatles announced their official breakup.
On April 10, 1994, NATO launched air attacks on Serb forces advancing on the Bosnian Muslim town of Gorazde.
--- BIRTHDAYS THIS WEEK ---
April 4: Muddy Waters (1915), Anthony Perkins (1932)
April 5: Booker T. Washington (1856), Spencer Tracy (1900), Bette Davis (1908), Gregory Peck (1916)
April 6: Butch Cassidy (1866), Andre Previn (1929), Billy Dee Williams (1937)
April 7: Billie Holliday (1915), Ravi Shankar (1920), Jackie Chan (1954)
April 8: Mary Pickford (1893), Shecky Greene (1926), Julian Lennon (1963)
April 9: Hugh Hefner (1926), Dennis Quaid (1954)
April 10: Joseph Pulitzer (1847), Omar Sharif (1932), John Madden (1936)
--- THIS WEEK’S FARMING TIP ---
There’s never a weekly famring tip, especially on an Interim week. Weekly farming tips appear in the Farmer’s Almanac®. This is not the Farmer’s Almanac®. This is the Moron’s Almanac. Please try not to get us mixed up again: it confuses us and embarasses the farmers. Thanks.
© 1999, JustMorons.com
Disclaimer: Past performance is no guarantee of future results.