THE MORON’S ALMANAC © 1999, JustMorons.com
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Almost as reliable as the Farmer’s Almanac®, but without all that crap about farming.
*** INTERIM EDITION ***
*** Sunday, July 4 through Saturday, July 10 ***
This is an interim edition of the Moron’s Almanac. Volume 2 ended with last week’s edition, and Volume 3 begins next week. Vital holidays and birthdays are provided to prevent subscribers from feeling neglected.
(I would never neglect you. You’re my favorite subscriber.)
---THIS WEEK’S VITAL MORONIC INFO---
July 4
Queen Sonja's Birthday, Norway
Fil-American Friendship Day, Philippines
Independence Day, U.S.A.
Veterans' Day, Yugoslavia
July 5
Independence Day, Algeria
Independence Day, Cape Verde
Peace and National Unity Day, Rwanda
Independence Day, Venezuela
July 6
Independence Day, Comorros
Death of Jan Hus Day, Czech Republic
Statehood Day, Lithuania
Independence Day, Malawi
July 7
Proclamation of PUNT Day, Equatorial Guinea
Independence Day, Solomon Islands
Saba Saba Day, Tanzania
July 9
Independence Day, Argentina
Constitution Day, Palau
July 10
Independence Day, Bahamas
--- BIRTHDAYS THIS WEEK ---
July 4
Geraldo Rivera (1943)
George Steinbrenner (1930)
Gina Lollobrigida (1927)
Neil Simon (1927)
Eva Marie Saint (1924)
Ann Landers (1918)
Abigail Van Buren (1918)
Rube Goldberg (1883)
Calvin Coolidge (1872)
Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804)
July 5
Huey Lewis (1951)
Georges Pompidou (1911)
Jean Cocteau (1889)
P.T. Barnum (1810)
July 6
George W. Bush (1946)
Sylvester Stallone (1946)
Ned Beatty (1937)
Dalai Lama (1935)
Della Reese (1932)
Janet Leigh (1927)
Merv Griffin (1925)
Bill Haley (1925)
Nancy Reagan (1921)
Laverne Andrews (1915)
John Paul Jones (1747)
July 7
Michelle Kwan (1980)
Cree Summer (1969)
Shelley Duvall (1949)
Ringo Starr (1940)
Doc Severinsen (1927)
Pierre Cardin (1922)
July 8
Kevin Bacon (1958)
Anjelica Huston (1951)
Nelson Rockefeller (1908)
John D. Rockefeller (1839)
July 9
Fred Savage (1976)
Courtney Love (1964)
Jimmy Smits (1958)
Kelly McGillis (1957)
Tom Hanks (1956)
John Tesh (1952)
O.J. Simpson (1947)
Nicola Tesla (1856)
July 10
Arlo Guthrie (1947)
Arthur Ashe (1943)
Fred Gwynne (1926)
Jake LaMotta (1921)
David Brinkley (1920)
Saul Bellow (1915)
Marcel Proust (1871)
--- INTERIM FARMING TIP ---
Farming tips appear in the Farmer’s Almanac®. This is not the Farmer’s Almanac®. This is the Moron’s Almanac (interim edition). Please try not to get us mixed up again: it confuses us and embarrasses the farmers. Thanks.
© 1999, JustMorons.com
Disclaimer: JustMorons.com is not intended for use as a laxative.