The Moron's Almanac

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Almost as reliable as the Farmer’s Almanac®, but without all that crap about farming.

*** Volume 3, Interim Edition ***

*** Wednesday, October 20 through Tuesday, October 26 ***

http://www.justmorons.com/almanac.html.

It's a bitter irony that this week marks the interim edition between the third and fourth volumes of the Moron's Almanac. It’s bitter because the Moron’s Almanac revels in the exploration and exploitation of significant anniversaries, and according to the venerable 17^th century Archbishop of Armagh, James Ussher, and to Dr. John Lightfoot of Cambridge, this week features the most significant anniversary of all:

According to these theological and astronomical luminaries, it was at exactly nine o’clock a.m. on the chilly autumn morning of October 23, 4004 B.C., that God created the world.

The universe is 6003 years old. Bottoms up.

---THIS WEEK’S VITAL MORONIC INFO---

October 20

Revolution Day, Guatemala

Jomo Kenyatta's Birthday, Kenya

October 21

Los Angeles Int’l Film Festival begins

Flag Day, Costa Rica

Army Day, Honduras

Independence Day, Marshall Islands

Anniversary of Coup, Somalia

Trafalgar Day, U.K.

October 22

Pope's Installation Anniversary, Vatican City

October 23

Revolution Day, Ungary

National Aviation Day, Mexico

October 24

FULL MOON

United Nations Day

Suez Day, Egypt

Labor Day, Palau

Independence Day, Zambia

October 25

Labour Day, New Zealand

Thanksgiving Day, Grenada

National Retrospection Day, Taiwan

October 26

Independence Day, Austria

---BIRTHDAYS THIS WEEK ---

October 20

Snoop Doggy Dogg (1972)

Tom Petty (1953)

Mickey Mantle (1931)

Art Buchwald (1925)

Bela Lugosi (1882)

Arthur Rimbaud (1854)

October 21

Jeremy Miller (1976)

Carrie Fisher (1956)

Benjamin Netanyahu (1949)

Dizzy Gillespie (1917)

Alfred Nobel (1833)

Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772)

October 22

Zac Hanson (1985)

Jeff Goldblum (1952)

Catherine Deneuve (1943)

Annette Funicello (1942)

Tony Roberts (1939)

Christopher Lloyd (1938)

Timothy Leary (1920)

Doris Lessing (1919)

Joan Fontaine (1917)

Curly Howard (1903)

N.C. Wyeth (1882)

Sarah Bernhardt (1844)

Franz Liszt (1811)

October 23

Al Leiter (1965)

"Weird" Al Yankovic (1959)

Michael Crichton (1942)

Pelé (1940)

Johnny Carson (1925)

Gummo Marx (1893)

October 24

Monica (1980)

Ben Gillies (1979)

Kevin Kline (1947)

F. Murray Abraham (1939)

David Nelson (1936)

Y.A. Tittle (1926)

Moss Hart (1904)

October 25

Tracy Nelson (1963)

Jon Anderson (1944)

Helen Reddy (1941)

Billy Barty (1924)

Minnie Pearl (1912)

Leo G. Carroll (1892)

Pablo Picasso (1881)

Georges Bizet (1838)

October 26

Cary Elwes (1962)

Lauren Tewes (1954)

Pat Sajak (1947)

Jaclyn Smith (1947)

Bob Hoskins (1942)

Jackie Coogan (1914)

Mahalia Jackson (1911)

--- THIS WEEK’S FARMING TIP ---

The interim edition seldom features a farming tip. Farming can be sought to more rewarding results in the Farmer’s Almanac®. This is not the Farmer’s Almanac®. This is the Moron’s Almanac. Please try not to get us mixed up again: it confuses us and embarrasses the farmers. Thanks.

Disclaimer: Interim Edition only. Special rules and conditions apply.

Not valid in conjunction with any other Almanac.