Table of Contents
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The Farmer's AlmanacŪ is useful if you're the kind of person that needs to know when to plant your wax beans or reap your butternut squash, or if you want to brush up on presidential birthdates or the anniversaries of historical events, but it's utterly useless to the rest of us. The Moron's Almanac is just as useless, far less reliable, and a hell of a lot more fun. It is no longer available by email but new articles appear on the homepage almost daily.
|Daily Briefing||Also updated almost daily is The Moron's Daily Briefing. Who else is going to tell you when it's Rebirth Day in Estonia or Garifuna Day in Belize?|
|Yes, This Moron writes whole books. Read reviews and excerpts from his first book here. (Link leads to This Moron's shameless self-promotion website and will therefore open in a new window. If you dislike new windows popping up all over your desktop, click here instead.)|
|The truth is out there! Okay, maybe it's not. There are, however, lies you can live with. Get them here.|
|You don't have to be a moron to enjoy this website. You don't even have to like morons to enjoy this website. But in case you're secretly wondering whether or not you are in fact a moron, you can take the Moron Test. Hundreds of thousands have taken it already--are you smarter than them?|
|In the process of completing the Moron Test (above), browsers often submit their own embarrassing true life stories. The only collection of "I Can't Believe What a Moron I Was" stories on the internet that I'm aware of. (Note: I'm not aware of much.)|
|Moronism is one of the oldest traditions in human thought. See what the great thinkers of the world have had to say about the world's oldest state of mind.|
|Audio. Video. Stuff like that.|
Moronic astrology is easier and more accurate than any conventional astrological system, and its results are 100% guaranteed. No other website offers that! So be sure to visit the Moronic Zodiac page, where in just a few minutes you can learn your Moronological birth sign. Then complete the unpatented, vaguely scientific Moronic Personality Assessment to get a detailed personal forecast. (There are no more weekly forecasts, however.)
|You're Ernest Hemingway and the computer is Charo in this famous recreation of that historical match. See if you've got the cunning to beat the wily Charo!|
|A historic re-enactment of the battle of Midway. It's me versus you.|
|All the best moronic links culled from the Moron's Almanac, back in the days when it included a lot of links, laid out in one place where it's easy to find them. The curious moron's paradise. I try to remove broken links now and then, but you surf at your own risk.|
|The story of one moron's spiritual odyssey. I did this a few years ago and ought to go back and edit it, but what the hell. It is what it is. (I'm not sure what it is.)|
|In early 1999, JustMorons.com participated in an unprecedented experiment in conjunction with E.W. Angst's "Fathomless Performance Concepts," whose company members submitted diary entries several times a week as they persevered on their world tour. Includes photos.|
Ironically this is what got the whole site started, in the wake of an AOL censorship spree. A 100% Free Moronic Speech Zone. I haven't been there in years, but people still drop by and post their thoughts from time to time.
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All of this idiocy copyright (c) 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002 JustMorons.com, all rights reserved.