The Asinine Prophecy

The story of one moron's spiritual odyssey.

Intro - Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5 - Ch. 6 - Ch. 7 - Ch. 8 - Ch. 9 - Ch. 10 - Ch. 11 - Ch. 12 - Ch. 13

Previous Chapter

This Moron is taking it easy this week.

Next Chapter

This Moron

 

CHAPTER SEVEN:
A VERY ABRUPT CHAPTER

 

The bull continued to snort off in the fog, and the other cows had closed in around me.  I was trapped, and Margaret knew it.  She was standing directly in front of me, blowing hot awful cow breath up in my face.

"Think it was a coincidence that you ran off the road straight into Deirdre?"  She asked.

"I don't know," I said, stalling for time.  What did she want me to say?   What was she trying to get out of me?  She was laying a trap, I was sure, but I didn't know what kind of a trap.  Or maybe she was just one of those villains that gives a long monologue before they kill you so that you have time to wriggle out of your handcuffs, rescue the beautiful girl, and blow up the whole island... except I wasn't in handcuffs, there was no beautiful girl, and we weren't on an island.  I decided to play it straight.  "What do you want me to say?"  I asked.   "I'll tell you whatever you want to know."

Margaret's expression lightened; all malice vanished.  I looked around, and all the other cows were smiling, nodding, murmuring in kindly tones.

Margaret called off into the fog: "You can quit snorting, Eleanor."    A plump old heifer ambled out of the fog from where I thought I'd heard the bull snorting.

("If you think my bull is good, you ought to hear my Mae West," she said.)

I was stupefied.

"You're obviously stupefied," Margaret said.  "Why don't you take a few deep breaths, and I'll explain everything...  including the third insight!"

"I already know the Third Insight," I said.  "I need the Fourth."

"Whatever," she said.  "Just catch your breath, bright boy."

So I did.

 

...next chapter...

Persons taking this seriously should consult a physician at once.
Any resemblance to any persons living or dead is not unlikely,
but certainly mere coincidence, if you believe in coincidence!

All of this stupidity copyright 1999, JustMorons.com.

 Home             Almanac