My inner voice laughed and called me names.   I slowed down and tried pulling a u-turn. That's when the truck came around the bend.

While the trucker searched for my registration in the tangled wreck of steel and glass that had recently been my car, I picked myself up off the shoulder and tried to shake off the beating he'd administered.  Absent mindedly I watched as a little yellow Chevy Nova puttered by, slowed, and pulled over about a hundred yards down the road.

A woman got out of the driver's side and began walking toward us.  I cannot describe the shock I felt when I realized it was none other than Ellen Succubus, a woman I'd dated for a couple of years in the late eighties and would have married if only she hadn't run off with that accordion repair guy.

"Ellie?" I asked.

She stared back at me with confusion. "Allen?" She said.

I shook my head.

"Chuck?"

I shook my head again.

Her stare intensified.  While she struggled for my name she continued to walk toward me, and I allowed myself to drink in the welcome sight of her well-preserved beauty.   I forgot how beautiful she was, I thought.  That's because you're an idiot, my inner voice replied.  Shut up, I thought.

Suddenly Ellie stopped cold in her tracks.  "Oh God," she said.   She starting to back away, "Oh, God, it's you!"  And she high-tailed it back to her little yellow Nova and a moment later she and her car were gone.

The trucker turned to me and said, "You knew her?"

"Sure," I said.  "We were together for years."

"Some coincidence, her drivin' along like that," he said.  His eyebrows were arched suggestively, as if he meant to imply that maybe there was something more than coincidence at play.  Or maybe he was about to sneeze, it was hard to tell.

"I don't know," I said.  "We both lived in Boston.  Lots of people from Boston drive these roads.  Think how many times I've driven on this road and haven't seen her.  It's probably more incredible how long I've gone without seeing her than that I happened to bump into her now."

The trucker shook his grizzled head, and his eyes twinkled.  "You hear 'bout that manuscript they found down in Ensenada?"

"No," I said.

"Mm," he said.  "Well, I ain't surprised."  He turned his back to me and eyed the smoking wreckage of my car.  At least I assume he was eyeing the smoking wreckage of my car: like I said, he had his back to me, so it was hard to tell.

"What about it?"  I asked.

He turned to face me.  "Well, yer car's all beat to shit, and I already whumped your ass, so why don't ya get in my truck and I'll tell ya all about it."

"I don't know," I said.  "You're kind of scary, and you already hurt me pretty bad."

He shook his head sadly, like a disappointed teacher might shake their head if they were sad.  "You wouldn't mind none a that if ya knew about the First Insight," he said.

"What's the First Insight?"

"It's the first article a the manuscript they found.  I ain't seen it, but I been told all about it.  Fact is, I'm drivin' round the country and runnin' cars off the road hopin' I'll ventchally smash inna someone who can gimme the Second Insight."

"But what's the First Insight?"

"I already told ya."

"No you didn't."

"Din't I?"

"You definitely didn't."

"Oh.  Damn.  Well, anyway, this here's the First Insight: Yer an idiot."

I couldn't believe it.  Hadn't I just been telling myself what an idiot I was?   And hadn't Ellen just driven by?  And wasn't my car a smoldering wreck?   And wasn't I taking spiritual guidance from a guy who'd just beat me up?

"Tell me more," I said.

"Get in the truck," he said.  "I'll tell ya all about it..."

...on to chapter one...