whoops

"I was walking my dog, and my dog was running so fast that she hit a recycling bin and flipped in. I was then laughing so hard, I ran into a signpost."

"I put my purse on the floor of my car and got in. When I got out of my car my foot was tangled in the purse strap and I fell onto the pavement at the Wal-Mart Supercenter."

"One time I was standing in front of a glass door and I turned around and there was someone standing there and it scared me so bad I turned sideways and ran head on into a wall. It hurt."

"I have slipped on a bananna peel and cracked my skull."

"Jumped off the bleachers, landed on a bowling pin, flipped in the air, and broke my foot in front of the entire gym class."

"I was cleaning my room, tripped over some garbage, and broke my toe. I guess my room really needed to be cleaned."

"One Halloween I went to a haunted house that was raising money for the poor. Walking up to the table with the money box on it I tripped on my own feet and grabbed the table. The box came down on my head showering me with doller bills. The cop watching it grabbed me and handcuffed my before I could explain I wasn't intending to steal it. It was in front of about 50 people, most my classmates from school."

"I went on a school skiing trip with a couple friends. It was my first time skiing, and I didn't know the resort as well as my friends. They convinced me to go on one of the advanced hills. I agreed because I has just taken lessons at the bunny hill. My friends never told me that one side of the hill leads to a jump, and the other back to the ski lift. Needless to say, I went down the jump side. I saw the end of the hill, and screamed, really really loud. I had not yet mastered stopping, and I was going really fast. I had to think really quickly. Luckily, my own clumsiness saved me. I tripped on my own skis, flying ten feet in the air and landing on my right arm and face. I then proceeded to skid 3 feet, leaving a giant red mark on my face. Thank god it was a Friday: I had the weekend to recover."

"I was riding my 3-wheeler with my dog running a short way to the side. I was watching her and worried she would hit a stump because she was watching me--and I hit a stump, was propelled over the handlebars, flipped, and landed on my back with my dog wondering why I had done that."

"One time when I was in 6th grade the teacher was walking the class to some function and we were walking along in line formation and something drew my attention and I looked over to my right hand side for what seemed like a split second and then BAM!--I smack straight into a pole--never saw it coming. I remember seeing little flying Daffy Ducks around my skull and the sound of the teacher yelling at me: 'Watch . . where you're going, I mean, what in my god?!' She was the type of teacher who was always upset. Even at morons. But she was a moron too. I'm glad I smacked into that pole back then. At least I got it out of the way."

"I fell backwards on my ass on a snowboard while standing completely still and sprained my wrist."

"I once ran headlong into a kiddie roller coaster. This happened when the amusement park was closed."

"When I was at a carnival I went into the house of mirrors and thought I could run through it. I ran smack into a mirror, knocking myself out cold."

"Broke a huge flower pot by sliding down the stairs on a box during a dinner party my mom threw."

"One year I decided to run cross-country, so that I couldn't injure myself before swim season. I was praticing down in the park one day when I ran into this huuuuge dumpster right in front of me. I ended up gouging out my arm and having to get stitches."

"Fractured my ankle on my first ski trip when I fell out of the car."

"Fell down the main stairway at my school with an open coke in my hand."

"I was walking down a flight of stairs and I stepped on the front of the stair and fell down the stairs."

"I broke my foot climbing over a fence sneaking out at night so my parents wouldn't know I was going out. Ended up in the hospital."

"I accidentally stabbed myself in the ankle with a knife. I now believe anything strange that happens to anyone is possible."

"I have walked into a pole that has been in our town that has been there since I have lived here." [sic]

"Once I tripped over my own two feet and landed right in the arms of my college crush. I was mortified. I guess it wasn't too bad, because now we are married... sometimes being a moron pays off!"

"My friend was running toward a train in the rain and slipped and smacked full speed into the glass door. Everyone laughed."

"I got stuck hanging by the seat of my pants from a chain-link fence that I had tried to climb over."

"I once ran for the bus stop across a muddy garden. Got stuck fast, lost my shoes, and fell flat on my face in front of about 20 people."

"I ran into a parked car while travelling on foot."

"I have tripped over my feet while talking about how not clumsy I am."

"One day I was having a paper airplane fight in my parents' room with my brother and cousins. I ducked a paper airplane and stepped back, onto the tv power cord, which made the tv fall on my head."

"I tripped and hurt myself on a big yellow handicap curb."

"A friend of mine tripped down a (one) stair and sprained her ankle."

"One time I was at a friend's house where we were working on my father's car. Everyone else was in the house looking for a part. I was all alone and I got to fiddling with the engine hoist. Somehow I got my foot tangled in the chain. With one big yank, I was suddenly hanging in the air, upside-down."

"I ran into a chainlink fence when I was racing my sister at a baseball game."

"After turning on the water for the hose, I couldn't figure why the water wasn't coming out. While examining the nozzle, I turned this little thingy, which solved the problem and gave me such a blast I fell over."

"Walked right into a parking meter on the side of Main Street."

"I saw a piece of toilet paper on the bathroom floor and to avoid it I jumped over it--slipping on a wet spot on the floor."

"I fell on the ground and accidentally mooned everyone nearby."

"Tripped over a 'mind the step' sign...

"Someone in my family slipped on the cat and fell down the stairs."

"Fell up stairs."

"I was at the super market and I was going through where the cakes are and I was extending my hand while passing, thinking there was a glass, and I fell through."

"I ran into a glass window thinking there was nothing there"

"In the mall most stores have signs standing outside of there entrance, stating some type of advertising such as 'Storewide Clearance,' or some other little tidbit. As my husband and I were walking in the mall one day we were walking by a hair salon, where his sister worked at the time. As we were slowly walking along I was chatting with her, not watching where I was going, when I felt my husband's hand pull on my arm, and I heard him say sharply... 'Babe, stop!' As I turned to see what he wanted, my nose brushed into the free-standing sign that was outside the store. One more step and I would have knocked the darn thing over! Needless to say my husband and his sister were having a great laugh because I almost walked into the sign... then my husband quietly said to me, 'Babe, read the sign.' It said: Walk-in's Welcome!"

"I once slipped on a cup of orange juice that had a 'wet floor' sign right next to it."

"Once, I was at school and hurrying to my next class because my friend and I were late. All of a sudden for no reason I tripped on the floor and fell flat on my face with my back-pack on top of my head."

"Walked through a glass door, got 21 stitches."

"I was walking outside to a pool, where my my friends were yelling for me. They watched me run smack into the clear glass door. They still tease me, because I had a huge bruise on my forehead."

"I have walked into many walls that just came outta nowhere!"

"One Halloween we were walking around and I tried to jump onto the curb and somehow I tripped over something, spun around a few times, and fell onto the grass in front of everyone...!"

"I went to open a door, missed the handle, and fell backwards on my buttocks."

"One time when I was younger I thought my sister and I were racing to my grandparent's house. In order to beat her, I thought I had to touch the glass door. However, I was moving so fast that my hands went right through the door. 12 stiches later I found out that we weren't even really racing."

"I was sitting on the edge of a stage with my friend, playing cards. I leaned backwards and fell off the stage onto the hard tile floor head first."

"While talking to someone I walked into a stone column."

"I have run into walls while trying to go through a door"

"I have walked into automatic doors labeled 'broken.'"

"I have fallen down a flight of stairs in public. I got up, and fell again."

"I walked into the school bus door the first day I had my new glasses--the very thing they were supposed to prevent."

"Fallen going upstairs, fallen going downstairs, walked into garbage cans..."

"I tripped over a cigarette butt at a party."

"I was running into my friend's house through the patio, and the doors were so clean I ran into them."

"While running downhill, I got out of control and could only stop myself by running into a fat woman."

"I have fallen over my ex-wife's bra."

"I have walked through a screen door."

"Trying to be cool, I walked into a lamppost."

"Walked into a mirror."

"I raced my brother out of a room, but he ran out the door and I smacked into a glass wall."

"One time, I was hauling ass across a parking lot to catch up to some of my friends who had gone into Hastings. I kept almost the same pace, and I figured I would burst through the door. So I run up and hit the door, full force. It was locked. I bounced off the door, and onto the hood of a parked car. Then, some old guy walks by and says something like, 'Maybe you should try that new Hastings, it just opened today.' That's when I realized what all of those streamers and confetti were for."

"I ran into a tree and fell flat on my butt, and broke my watch, while trying to catch a frisbee."

"While I was rock climbing, I fell because I snorted (I was laughing)."

"I have walked into parking meters."

"I walked straight into a glass wall thing marked 'Don't Walk Into Me'."

"Walked into a glass revolving door."

"Put one foot on a roller skate and the other on a medium sized round rubber ball just to see what would happen... the skate went one way and the rubber ball went the other and I went straight down the middle."

"As I was trying to get on a motorized ski lift, I stuck my pole in the ground and half-fell out of my seat with my pole stuck between my legs. They had to stop the ski lift, so I could get back into the seat, as my friends waited in line for the lift."

"Walked into a closed wooden door."

w h o o p s